Cooking with the Heat OFF

Anyone out there ever put your water on to boil or put meat in a pan and went about preparing your meal, only to discover that the reason that it still isn’t cooking or isn’t boiling is because you didn’t turn on the stove? 

Yeah…me, too. 

It’s frustrating, because despite the fact that you did EVERYTHING else right, that one simple thing was the key to cooking. Without it, you've got nothin'. 

"How does this apply to learning?" you may ask. Well, have you ever sat down with your child to help them with homework or school, and they quickly get that glazed-over look? You had all the right books, curriculum, and strategies to help, but they just weren’t engaging. It’s so frustrating. That’s about where I am usually tempted to give up. I have done all the things that I can think of to make school look, feel, and sound the way it is supposed to, but my little student just isn’t primed to learn. 

What’s a teacher to do? 

Well, trying to teach a student that isn’t prepared to learn is like cooking without heat. You might have everything prepared just fine, but if they aren’t ready to learn, they simply won’t.

Figuring out how to get learners to engage often has less to do with strategy, and more to do with undoing. That’s right; undoing the stress, undoing the pressure, undoing the status quo. 

In a world driven by productivity it is easy to lose the person.

Driving kids to learn through competition, and even laying out the risk of future damage (like not getting into college or not being able to get a good job), can actually cause kids to shut down. Too few children are confident enough in themselves to jump into competition or challenge without feeling like their self-worth and identity is tied to it. That means that, either they will start out really well but burn up fast (the heat is too high), or they just won’t engage at all (the stove isn’t turned on).  

Having a talk about why we learn and how it can help to develop them as an individual can be a better motivator. Letting them know that their worth is not tied to how they perform can relieve some of the stress that is preventing them from even trying. Show them how they can find their interests in learning. Show them how they can connect education to their passion or use it to just improve at what they already enjoy. 

With time, they will start to engage a little bit more and a little bit more. This is like turning on the heat and letting it gradually cook your food, as opposed to turning it on high and fighting to keep it from burning.  

Too many times, I come across kids in their early teens who carry the stress of someone three- to four-times their age. Teaching our kids how to unwind and relax is just as important as teaching them to challenge themselves. 

So, next time you see your kids stressing or not engaging, try just talking to them. Find common ground and encourage them that it’s okay to struggle. It's okay to fail. It’s okay to need a break. It’s okay to just be loved and appreciated for the fact that they are yours.